It’s been easy and I would say an almost innate talent to jive to the rhythm of other people’s wants and needs, desires and commands. It has been easy for me to be a follower and peacekeeper. It is as if I was born with a special DNA marker that makes going with the flow as easy as the 30-second button on the microwave. For many years my peace, happiness and completeness came from managing and orchestrating the peace, happiness and completeness of all of those around me.
I have come to realize, the hard way, that keeping peace only works if you are completely hole and happy yourself. If you are not completely hole and happy within yourself, what you are really doing by peacekeeping is really just giving yourself away – piece by piece. You are trampling over your own emotional boundaries to placate another’s. When you are a people pleaser, what you think of compromise is actually surrender – you just cannot see it straight because you are literally blinded by the emotions of others. What you thought of as a peace treaty with another – was really an act of self-surrender.
Are you a people pleaser? Can you look back and see situations more clearly – situations in which you surrendered but thought you were compromising?